Owning Your Truth
by tippykazoo
Summary: *spoilers through S2E6* She's been carrying that truth, is still carrying it, for who knows how long, and I just threw it in her face. My real question is, have you been owning your own truth? That woman, that I spoke to, did not leave because she doesn't love you. I think she's just waiting for you to find the right words to say to her.


It was late. The other scientists in the lab had all cleared out aside from Fitz, who sat idly, tinkering with a string of chords with a far away look in his eyes. Mack strode through the glass doors, as he'd done dozens of times in the past weeks, towards Fitz. Mack's face was pinched with a look of worry, of guilt. It took Fitz a moment to notice, but when he did, he wondered what had happened now.

"Hey Buddy, "Mack said carefully. Fitz was fleetingly reminded of the time his mum had told him his pet fish had died. That was a "bad news" tone.

"I, uh, talked to your old partner, Simmons." Mack confessed, a hand wrapped awkwardly behind his neck, the other hanging by his side. Fitz, on the other hand, looked alert now. Had Simmons said something bad about him? Was something wrong? Mack let a pause of silence hang in the air, possibly gauging Fitz's reaction.

"Oh, uhm, I, er... I... What did she say?" Fitz winced at his own words. He was supposed to move on, to not care what she said. But why was Mack talking to her at all? Were they working together on projects now? A bubble of jealousy and sadness simultaneously rose up inside him.

"She actually came to thank me. For being your friend." Mack started. Fitz shifted uncomfortably and something like anger flushed his features.

"That's, uhm... That's so like her." Fitz stood up, his hands shaking slightly. "Thinking I couldn't... That she was my only... She isn't my only friend. I've had... Friends." Fitz put emphasis on the last word and Mack wondered if he should have just let things be, not said anything.

"I don't think she meant it like that." Mack tried to patch his words up. "I think she was just feeling a little guilty."

"Well, that, er... Uhm... I guess... That kind of makes... Sense." Fitz riddled, his mind grasping other thoughts instead of words. Part of him wanted to think it served her right to feel guilt. She had, after all, left him, abandoned him. Another part felt terrible for his own role in any of her feelings of hurt. He didn't want her to be upset. He didn't know what he wanted. For her to apologize? No. That wouldn't mend things. For her to say she loved him and she'd never leave him again? That might be nice at first, but they'd both know it was a lie. She didn't love him the way he loved her and neither of them could control where they'd end up, not while working for Shield. Amid his thoughts, he'd almost forgotten he and Mack were still talking. It took him a moment to process the other man's words.

"Look Man, I thought I had your back in there. I called her out on leaving after you told her your feelings. Except now, I'm not sure I did right by either of you, because she said that wasn't why she left. I told her to accept the person you are now and she said she did; that wasn't the problem. That's when I told her the only problem you seem to have is her. And she agreed. She thinks she makes you worse. That's why she left." Mack recounted his conversation to a now motionless and startled looking Fitz. Mack took a seat on a swivel chair, resting his elbows on his knees, giving his friend a minute to process.

"You, er... She said... All of that?" Fitz's breathing was shaky. He could feel the beginnings of panic racing through him.

"I think I really upset her." Mack looked down at the floor, guilt in his tone. "You should have seen the look in her eyes. She's been carrying that truth, is still carrying it, for who knows how long, and I just threw it in her face. My real question is, have you been owning your own truth? That woman, that I spoke to, did not leave because she doesn't love you. I think she's just waiting for you to find the right words to say to her. And you should probably say them soon because she looks about ready to break. She's not a machine, she won't be so easy to fix." Mack's tone held a certain finality to it. Fitz looked speechless. His mind was exploding with the other man's words. Unbeknownst to himself, Fitz's eyes welled with tears, his expression becoming pained.

"How do I make this right?" Fitz asked, the clarity of his own words singing in his ears, though they had come out both meek yet determined. Mack had a glint of pride in his eyes as he regarded Fitz.

"Talking doesn't seem to be your biggest strength right now, but I'm sure you can find a way to show her how you feel. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?" Mack's words rang in Fitz's ears like an alarm. He felt like he was at the bottom of the ocean, trapped in a pod with Jemma when he'd said something so similar to her. That was how Fitz's idea to reconnect with his best friend was born.

–

"Simmons, I need your help." Fitz was breathless when he spoke the words, like he'd been running. He beckoned his friend from her desk chair beside Skye. The two women looked concerned. Simmons was already on her feet.

"Is something wrong?" Skye asked, looking alarmed.

"No, er, I just need Jemma's help. For science." Fitz said cryptically over his usual tumble of words. Skye's eyebrows rose up with all the jokes she would have made if Fitz didn't look so serious. Simmons, however, wore an expression akin to desperation. Finally, Fitz had sought her out. He was willing to speak to her. And the mention of science, the possibility of working together, bristled at a yearning inside her for some small piece of what they used to have; what they could still have?

"Of course! I would love to help! Lead the way." Simmons professed eagerly. Something like a small smile flitted across Fitz's face and Simmons could feel a warmth spread through her that had been absent for months.

She expected him to lead her into the lab and was quite surprised when he instead had her follow him into the hangar, towards to Bus. She paused for a moment, confusion apparent on her face. Fitz turned back around when he heard her footsteps stop and he backtracked slightly to extend a shaky hand. That was all sorts of odd to Simmons but she wasn't ready to rid herself of the warmth in her heart so soon. She reached out and took it, a flutter of energy coursing between them.

Fitz continued on, guiding her hand-in-hand into the Bus. The aircraft was empty, just as he'd arranged. He'd spent all night and the better part of the morning preparing for this and he hoped all would go as planned. Once they came to a certain point, Fitz stopped and turned to look at Simmons properly.

"I, uhm... Actually... Had a bit of a... Not that I don't need your help. That's just not the reason... I've got a surprise. For you." Fitz stumbled nervously through his words, not wanting to ruin anything. "Could you just close your eyes?" Simmons could feel her confusion intensifying, but humored him nonetheless. She offered a nervous smile and promptly closed her eyes.

He took her hand again, this time bracing her arm slightly against his own so he could lead her without her walking into anything. He felt steadier to her now, less shaky. She, however, felt small bursts of adrenaline coursing through her. They hadn't gone far when Fitz turned her body to face something and leaned close to her to murmur, "open your eyes." When she did, her excitement took on an entirely new nature; one of panic. Fitz had brought her to a pod. It looked exactly like the one they had barely survived and, while she would have been perfectly capable of handling this situation in some other context, the guise of a surprise had turned this into something from one of her nightmares.

"Is this some sort of joke? Are you... Are you punishing me for leaving?" Simmons voice shook, her body trembled, tears had sprung free of her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. Fitz froze, having not accounted for this reaction as a variable in his plan.

"A joke? Punish? No, no, no, no..." Fitz could feel his own panic rising. "Jemma, no! It's a... Surprise. To say... Sorry." Fitz scanned her face, watching her anxiety ebb away slightly. His hands were shaking again, even harder now. He plowed through though, and lifted one up to gently wipe some of the tears from Simmons' cheek. They collectively took a breath and then Simmons managed an encouraging nod, not trusting her voice.

"Come with me. I won't let... Nothing will hurt us." Fitz promised. He opened the pod and stepped inside. He then extended his hand once more, wanting her to take it, to trust him. She did.

He closed the pod and sat down on the floor. Simmons stood warily at first before following suit. Fitz wore a sad smile and took a long breath before trying to explain the surprise, the apology, everything.

"Last time we were here... I, uhm... I told you I love you. And, I really need to know... If you feel the same way." Fitz spoke as if this was some sort of far away dream he was telling her about.

"Of course, Fitz, I have always loved you." Simmons told him, feeling more tears welling.

"I don't mean as... Your best friend. I mean... I want to... Kiss you. And... I want to wake up beside you... Every day. I want to marry you... And for you to take my name... Or I take yours... Or we really do be... FitzSimmons. I want... Children. Kids with your beautiful eyes and my curly hair running about with... American-English-Scottish accents. I want... To tell you I love you every day... From now until the day we die. And I was so... Afraid of the words, Jemma. The words I'm saying. But if I don't say them... We might not ever have enough words again. I'm scared." Fitz confessed his truth, speaking more to her in that moment than he had since the accident. Simmons' face was covered in tears. She choked slightly as she tried to speak and had to clear her throat.

"Then please, just let us both have what we want." Simmons murmured as she leaned forward, her body trembling, and kissed Fitz's lips, feeling his trembling in turn. The motion was tentative, careful at first. It was like walking through a field of land mines, both terrified of what could happen. Fitz brought one hand upward to brace one of her arms that she was leaning on. He brought the other up through her now short-cropped hair, brushing his fingers through the locks. Their lips played gently at one-another, heads lilting slightly to angle themselves better. They had just begun to deepen the kiss, testing their comfort zone, when something inside the pod crashed down with a clank. The pair sprang apart, both gasping for air. Fitz let out a low chuckle as he identified the source of the noise, an oxygen canister.

"Coincidence?" Simmons asked after catching her breath.

"No." Fitz told her, looking a little guilty. "It was part of my... Apology. In my plan... There wasn't so much, uhm, kissing... Happening." A blush colored Fitz's cheeks and Simmons couldn't help but smile.

"What else is in your plan?" She inquired, sitting back now that they'd been properly interrupted.

"Well, uhm, I... In the pod... I pressed the button. And I'd never take that back. But... Uhm... You didn't want me to. So, I'm sorry... For not listening." Fitz smiled sheepishly before scooting over a little and grabbing a second oxygen canister to set beside the first. "I can't go back and change it. But... I can make sure it never happens again." The tears were back, for both of them this time. Simmons was so touched by the gesture, even if it was a bit useless seeing as the odds of them being in that situation twice were slim to none. It was everything it stood for that mattered. He was showing her that he was prepared for anything they might face.

Simmons leaned forward once more, mirroring their first experience in the pod, and began to pepper Fitz's face in shaking kisses. They both tasted salty tears on her lips when she kissed his lips and Fitz pulled her to him, wanting them both to replace the memory of the pod as their coffin to this new memory instead. Fitz had turned it into a sanctuary and a confessional. He would have stayed there all day, just holding Simmons close and stuttering out what some might call nonsense, except a new interruption had come along. Just outside the Bus, the pair could hear clapping, hooting, catcalling. Both of their faces paled as they realized they weren't alone anymore.

–

They strode down the ramp from the Bus with rose colored cheeks and anxious expressions, but held hands to anchor one-another. There, in the wide-expanse of the hangar, were varying members of their team. At the head of the pack was Skye, holding a tablet broadcasting the security feed from the Bus, her face sopping from tears. Nearby was Mack who mouthed the words "I tried" to Fitz and offered a shrug. It had been his job keeping the others from interrupting.

Near Mack, Tripp was catching up Bobbi and Hunter about why Fitz and Simmons had a complicated relationship. May almost smacked Hunter when he asked if Simmons was the one who messed up Fitz to begin with. And then, there was Coulson, who stood behind Skye, hands linked behind his back, a genuine smile offered to his team. Simmons stopped before him, looking anxious.

"I'm so sorry. Sir. This was not meant to be publicized in any way." Simmons said, trying to find her professionalism while shooting a glare at Skye.

"Psh, I'm not sorry!" Skye outright laughed.

"Fitz, Simmons, after everything the two of you have been through, I'm just glad to see you're able to find some peace." Coulson's sincerity brought the group to quiet around them. "I'm sorry we crashed your private moment. Things have just been so difficult around here for a long time and we need to embrace the positive as often as possible." Coulson added gently.

"But if you want to get mad at anyone, Skye is the one that dragged us all out here." May said, inviting laughter from those around them.

"Fitz said he needed Simmons' help for science. I mean, come on, I had to spy on them. It obviously wasn't about science!" Skye told them, wiping her own tears away.

"Alright, alright, everyone back to work. Skye, leave FitzSimmons alone." Coulson scolded, sounding more fatherly than he'd like to admit.

Things were finally becoming less tense among the team, save for Bobbi and Hunter of course, and Fitz and Simmons had a chance to start something new. All it had taken was them owning their truth, that they were in love.


End file.
